Spilled Bag of Fights: The Iceys

Hello, Icemigos. How was your blah, blah, blah? Yeah and how’s that thing that you do going? Really? That’s interesting. You know how I feel about that. I mean it should go without saying, right?

So with the niceties out of the way let’s get right to the awards! What awards? The first ever SBoI Awards for the week of MMA fights that I saw! “The Iceys®” as they’re called – as of now.

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The first award is for Submission of the Week.

The nominees are:

1.   Joe Lauzon for his Kimura over Curt Warburton

2.   Pat Curran for his Peruvian Necktie over Luis Palomino

3.   Nazareno Malegarie for his Guillotine over Jacob Devree

And the Winner is Pat Curran. Not only is a Peruvian Necktie a submission you don’t see too often but he got it against a Peruvian!! That’s like getting an Americana against Randy Couture or a McKenzietine against Cody McKenzie or… a Dutch Oven against Stefan Struve… okay that’s not a submission as far as I know but you get the idea.

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Next up, Knock out of the Week.

The nominees are:

1. Ronnie Mann for his KO of Adam Schindler
2. Matt Mitrione for his KO  of Christian Morecraft

Okay, let’s end this charade. We all know that Cheick Kongo wins for his unbelievable comeback KO of Pat Barry. This also easily wins the award for the “Holy shit that was awesome but holy shit that sucks!” award for all time in MMA. I love Pat and it was tough to see him be the one on the shitty end of that particular stick. At least when Cro Cop beat him it was Cro Cop. Anyway, that was some crazy ass shit to be sure. I really don’t know what else to say about that besides: Damn!  Though on a happier Team Meatberry note, Matt Mitrione looked great in his fight with Christian Morecraft and did the pimp ass walk off KO. Good work, sir! Ronnie Mann’s KO was also impressive. Any other week and either of these could’ve been contenders.  Also. I’m gonna go ahead and blame this loss on MMA Gospel’s own Dan Griffin for picking Kongo to win and jinxing PATSLY CAPSBERRY who was well on his way to winning that fight in devastating fashion. Thanks a lot, Dan!

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Fight of the Week.

The nominees are:

1. Cheick Kongo vs. Pat Barry
2. Nik Lentz vs. Charles Oliveira
3. Rick Story vs. Charlie Brenneman

Kongo vs Barry was dramatic, shocking, and amazing in its own way, but too short to earn the FotW nod. Story and Brenneman was a great upset but not the most exiting fight. I’m gonna have to give the Fight of the Week to the Fight of the Night winner Lentz vs. Oliveria. The back-and-forth was amazing and exciting. Yes, the end of the fight was marred by an illegal knee that referee Chip Snider seemed to completely ignore despite the fact that it was clear as day but the constant exciting back-and-forth in those two rounds definitely earns it The Icey®! And while we’re on the subject: WTF, Chip? Not only that he kept yelling at the Tyson Griffin and Manny Gamburyan to “throw leather” and work and keep active… like the entire fight! If they weren’t standing toe to toe and trading, ol’ Chip seemed to think they weren’t doing anything. Yet he’s the dickmonkey that completely ignored the illegal knee. You’re a referee, Chip, not a cheerleader. Fuckin’ momo.

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Finally we have Best Technical Achievement in Hair or Facial Hair.

The nominees are:

1. Cheick Kongo for the new beard
2. John Howard for the Doomsday Hair Doodles
3. Charlie Brenneman for the Underdog Locks & Beard combo

And the Winner is Charlie Brenneman. You’ve gotta give it to the hometown kid for his abundant beard and fabulous tresses combo. Charlie the underdog beat Rick the underdog that beat Thiago Alves. It’s a poetic little plot twist. Two thumbs up.

Anyway, I’ll be doing a Knock Out, Submission, and Fight of the week Award in every column from now on. Although they will just be listed without the nominees and such a lengthy explanation. And guess what? There is a prize aside from the incredible honor of my validation. A $25 Amazon Gift Certificate.

To Claim your prize, Charlie Brenneman, Cheick Kongo, Nik Lentz, Charles Oliveira, and Pat Curran all you have to do is leave your acceptance speech as a comment below and then contact me via Twitter so I know it’s really you. What say you, Brenneman? Twenty-five bucks can buy some sweet hair care products!

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Til next time, Icemigos…. See ya on Twitter. And better luck next time, Strikeforce Challengers.