Spilled Bag of Fights: Twister PWND!

So, I’m moving this week. It sucks. I don’t own a lot of stuff but when you have to pack it up, you suddenly wish you were a monk…. Okay, maybe a monk with a really kick ass laptop but still. Anyway, I’m still writing my column just for you guys. I hope you appreciate it. I also won’t be able to attend to my normal MMA Gospel Radio show co-hosting duties this Wednesday but before you start weeping, relax – your buddy, your hero, yours truly has arranged for a very special treat for you in my absence. Filling in for me will be none other than the man who saved us from communism at WEC 53 and is so witty that he has been featured in UFC’s Tweets of the Week column for over four months running, UFC lightweight bad ass “Dannyboy” Downes! You’re welcome. I give and I give and I’m still as poor as a monk but with a lot more shit – as I believe I mentioned. So, enough of my whining… there are a lot of fights to get to. UFC Fight Night 24: Nogueira vs. Davis, Bellator 38, Titan Fighting Championship 17, and M-1 Global’s debut Challenge show on Showtime.

First off, props to none other than the “New York Bad Ass” Phil Baroni for getting the Unanimous Decision win at Titan Fighting Championship 17 in a tough fight against Nick “Not the Actor” Nolte. It wasn’t Phil’s most exciting fight but Phil really needed the win and his wrestling proved to be the factor that secured it for him. I’m happy for the NY Dog Walker – even if he did hurt my feelings on the radio show. Ha! Let’s not talk about the Bobby Lashley fight where Lashley gassed so hard that I could’ve finished him in the third round but John Ott decided to remain timid and cautious despite that and knowing that he was behind two rounds already. You, sir, are no Chad Griggs.

There are a lot of Gracies. Seriously, man. There’s, of course, Royce, Renzo, Carlson, Helio, Cesar, Kyra, and Rickson Gracie. There’s also Dopey, Sneezy, Doc, Bashful, Grumpy, Sleepy, and Happy Gracie. And way up North there’s Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen and Rudolph the red nosed Gracie. And lets not forget the Milwaukee Gracies: Richie, Ralph Malph, Potsie and Fonzie Gracie. At Bellator 38 Daniel Gracie lost a very close and dare I say, debatable Split Decision to Tim Carpenter and keeping with the Bellator trend of upsets lately.

Did you see that Inverted Triangle Choke submission Richard Hale got on Nik Fekete?! Yes, Toby Imada did it first and he may owe Imada a royalty… or at least a beer. But Hale is a light heavyweight! What’s next, Junior Dos Santos doing a “Showtime Kick”? Or someone winning via “Twister” submission? (Ya see what I did there?) Anyway, not much more to say about that other than: “Props, dude! Mad props”.

D.J. Linderman had a nice scrap with Raphael Davis. Every time I hear D.J. Linderman, I can’t help but think of a dude behind a pair for turntables cradling headphones against his shoulder and ear. And at one point D.J. Linderman landed a nasty accidental low-blow to Davis and totally remixed his nutsicles. Zing! Ouch!

Let’s move it right along to UFC Fight Night Live 24. First of all it wasn’t live at all here on the west coast. That was pretty annoying. What wasn’t annoying was “The Korean Zombie” Chan Sung Jung getting revenge for his previous horrible decision loss to Leonard Garcia. Both dudes seemed more deliberate and calculated than they are known for. The first round was damn close but in the second, Jung began to out pace Garcia. Mr. Zombie got Garcia down and got his back and seemed to be going for a Rear Naked Choke unsuccessfully when he transitioned into a “Twister” for the submission win with one second left in the round. If the Twister seems like something you thought you’d only see in an Eddie Bravo instructional video on YouTube, there’s a good reason. Jung said that’s exactly where he learned the move. Now, when I hear “Twister” and Eddie Bravo in the same sentence, I think of some exotic strain of weed that Eddie might smoke with Joe Rogan on a Saturday afternoon but then again, #IDontRoll. Either way, it looks like it puts a lot of pressure on your neck and spine and it must hurt like a bitch because Garcia tapped. Garcia must’ve known there wasn’t much time left in the round but he must’ve been bummed when he found out he was literally only one second away from making it out of the round. Props to TKZ. And an “In Your Face, Posers!!” to the fair-weather “fans” who wanted to return their Korean Zombie t-shirts after he got KO’ed. You punk-ass bitches got “Twister PWNED”!

Amir Sadollah looked great in his fight against Damarques Johnson. Sadollah’s Muay Thai is brutal and precise and he was relentless in attacking Johnson with knees from the clinch. I think his performance should earn him a step up in competition.

I’ve previously confessed my hetero man-crush on Dan Hardy. Apparently, Anthony “Rumble” Johnson has a crush on Hardy too since he wanted to use the fight as a thinly veiled excuse to snuggle with Dan on the ground. In all honesty, I don’t blame Johnson or anyone else for not wanting to stand and trade punches with Hardy, especially if you have a significant weight and wrestling advantage. What annoys me is the fact that Rumble was saying before the fight that he was going to knock Dan’s head into the crowd and all that nonsense. Why lie? It’s not like admitting that you were going to use your superior wrestling against Hardy would ruin the tactical advantage or anything. I guess it hypes the fight better than saying “I’m gonna snuggle my way to the W!” Yes, Hardy’s takedown defense needs improvement and I’m sure he’s been working on that since his GSP loss but it’s not like you become a master of takedown defense overnight and the wrestling of a dude who comes from a wrestling background and is significantly bigger and heavier than you is suddenly not going to pose problems. The “problem” is that Dan’s takedown defense isn’t great but his defense off his back is very good. So, wrestlers get him down but then can’t seem to do much damage once they get him down – which leads to a pretty boring fight. Not to mention a very frustrating fight to watch if you’re rooting for “The Outlaw”.

(Original photo courtesy of Zuffa, LLC. with alterations by SBoI)

Maybe Dan should train with the Nogueira brothers since “Mr. Wonderful” Phil Davis, an excellent wrestler, was having no luck taking “Lil’ Nog” down in the first round of their fight. In the second and third round, he was able to use the single-leg for more success and secure the Unanimous Decision victory. Not much to say about this fight really. It was a good fight but nothing too eventful happened in it. I think it does show us that as good as Davis is, he’s not the man to beat Jon Jones. Not yet, at least.

I guess I should mention Sean “Big Sexy” aka “The Curtain Jerker” McCorkle’s fight against Christian Morecraft which was shown on Facebook. I like Sean. Assuming you don’t take his internet persona too seriously, he’s a likeable, down-to-earth, funny dude. He’s been on the MMA Gospel Radio Show and contributed to the Q&A: “Low Blows” piece here on the site and has always been very cool to me. So, it was tough to watch him get beat and eventually choked unconscious in the second round. I hope he doesn’t get cut from the UFC but it seems likely. Either way, we’re rooting for ya, Sean.

(Original photo courtesy of Zuffa, LLC. with alterations by Spilled Bag of Ice)

Okay, I didn’t really get a chance to watch M-1 Challengers. I have it DVRed but I didn’t get a chance to watch it because of the whole moving thing. Sorry.

Again, don’t forget to listen to MMA Gospel Radio on Wednesday at 5:30 PT/ 8:30 ET with special guest co-host Dannyboy Downes. Guaranteed awesome.